Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This is my gift to your gina
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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