Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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