I heard we made out
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She told me I should be a condom model.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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