I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
