You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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