dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
