I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
