Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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