Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
