I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
