OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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