these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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