She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
