The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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