Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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