Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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