i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
