Quick, to the slutcave!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
