ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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