went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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