u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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