hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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