i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
