If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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