That's intense
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
