That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
