do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
