at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
