Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
