where does the pee come out of this thing
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
