Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
