let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
