I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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