Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
