it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
