obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I will pee on everything he values.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
