somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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