Ambien. No doubt about it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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