5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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