Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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