is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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