Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
vagina is talking i cant
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
