I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So many bounce houses so little time
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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