I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
