I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
