I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
