shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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