i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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