you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
