he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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